I contacted you about beginning therapy but you were full. Where should I go from here?

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If I wasn't able to accept you as a patient, I have several tips on your next steps.

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• When reaching out to potential therapists, ask if they are accepting new patients and treat them respectfully. Don't think of a therapist as a someone who works for you, but rather someone who works with you. If you contact potential therapists with this mindful mentality, they will be more likely to help. 

• Find a therapist who places a high value on your past experiences so you can truly heal. Be wary of therapists who offer quick fixes and bold guarantees.

• Accept that healing is a life long process to avoid beginning your therapeutic journey with unrealistic expectations.

• If you find yourself believing that you know exactly what's best for you and your therapy, take a step back and practice releasing control. Accept that there are trained professionals who understand a great deal about your life and what you need to heal. Entering therapy under the illusion that you need to instruct your therapist about what you need dooms the process from the start. Be open minded and ask your therapist how they experience you in sessions. Ask for their perspective and their thoughts on what you are saying. 

• Find a therapist you feel comfortable with. Unfortunately, not all therapists are present, engaged and hopeful. Therapists should be curious, caring, engaging, and thoughtful. It's normal to initially feel a bit uncomfortable, but that should dissipate over time as you form a bond with your therapist.

• Be wary of religious based counselors who purport that you must dedicate your life to a deity to be truly happy, healthy and content. If you want help with religious matters, there are spiritual advisors, pastors and religious groups who specialize in specifically guiding you through your faith in a helpful way. While religious advisors may be helpful, if they exclude psychotherapeutic techniques and principles to aid in healing, they are not providing psychotherapy. Psychotherapy can include processing religion and spirituality, but psychotherapy is ultimately only effective if a holistic approach is taken.

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How can therapy help me?

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A number of benefits are available from therapy. Therapists can provide support, problem-solving skills, new coping strategies, and most importantly, perspective. I can help identify life patterns, choices, past experiences that help enrich the present. Many people also find that counselors can be a tremendous asset to managing personal growth, relationships, family concerns, marriage issues, and the hassles of daily life. However, you will get out of therapy what you put in. Some of the benefits available from therapy include:

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• Attaining a better understanding of your unconscious mind and how your unconscious processes affect everything you do

• Developing skills for improving your relationships

• Finding resolution to nagging concerns that you can't resolve on your own

• Learning new ways to cope with stress and anxiety

• Managing anger, trauma, depression, and other emotional pressures

• Changing old behavior patterns and developing new ones

• Identifying how your caregivers attached to you, your current attachment styles, and how you attach to others in the present day

 

Do I really need therapy? I can usually handle my problems and others have it much worse off.

 

Some mistakenly believe that therapy is for “check engine” emergency fixes. Think of counseling more as routine maintenance. Just like meticulously maintaining and caring for an automobile (hopefully an electric automobile), meticulously caring for yourself and others benefits you and the world. Everyone goes through challenging situations, and while you may have successfully navigated through other difficulties you've faced, there's nothing wrong with seeking out extra support when you need it. In fact, therapy is for people who have enough self-awareness to realize they need a helping hand. Never stop being curious about yourself and learning how others experience you. I hope you see the world differently next year than this year, for the rest of your life. The more aware you are of your intricacies, the richer your life will be. Therapy provides long-lasting benefits and support, giving you the tools you need to be aware of triggers and managing them differently, identifying damaging patterns, and moving through whatever challenges you face.

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Why do people go to therapy and how do I know if it is right for me?

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People have many unique motivations for choosing therapy. Some may be going through a major life transition (unemployment, divorce, new job, etc.), or are feeling overwhelmed or bothered.  Some need assistance managing things like low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, addictions, relationship problems, spiritual conflicts and creative blocks. Everyone has a different curiosity level about the depths of who they are. People who are interested and fascinated about their complexities benefit the most from therapy and enjoy life more. You are not simple. Your mind is wonderfully complex and you deserve to enjoy yourself and enjoy this cruel yet beautiful world. Some people, through painful life experiences and chemical imbalances, are not curious about who they are and how they impact the world around them. Therapy can still be helpful, but often frustrating for them, because therapy doesn't yield tangible, quantifiable rewards. In my experience, anyone who is open minded can benefit from therapy if commited to the process.

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What is therapy like?

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Because each person is unique and has different needs, therapy will be different depending on the individual. In general, I only expect that my patients choose what we talk about and be as honest as possible. Sessions are not structured. Because sessions aren't prompted or scripted, you will benefit the most by journaling and noting things that you want to explore in between sessions. Having an idea of what you'd like to explore before walking in the office helps a lot. Therapy yields greater rewards when we commit to long-term work to uproot and deal with more difficult patterns. I prefer to meet 1-2 times per week for the first few months. I have seen phenomenal healing from more intensive work. It is important to understand that you will see more results from therapy if you actively participate in the process. The ultimate purpose of therapy is to help you translate what you learn in session into your life. I may suggest some things you can do outside of therapy to support your process - such as reading a pertinent book, journaling on specific topics, noting particular behaviors or taking action on your goals.

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What about medication vs. psychotherapy?  

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It is well established that the long-term solution to mental and emotional problems and the pain they cause cannot be solved solely by medication. Instead of just treating the symptom, therapy addresses the cause of our distress and the behavior patterns that curb our progress. You can best achieve sustainable growth and a greater sense of well-being with an integrative approach to wellness.  Working with a reputable psychiatrist can help you determine what's best for you, and in some cases a combination of medication and therapy is the right course of action. 

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Does what we talk about in therapy remain confidential?

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Confidentiality and trust are two of the most important components between myself and my patients. Successful therapy requires a high degree of trust with highly sensitive subject matter that is usually not discussed outside the therapist's office. Every therapist should provide a written copy of their confidential disclosure agreement, and you can expect that what we discuss in session will not be shared with anyone. This is called “Informed Consent”. Sometimes, however, you may want your therapist to share information or give an update to someone on your healthcare team (your Psychiatrist, Doctor, Attorney), but by law I cannot release this information without obtaining your written permission. However, state law and professional ethics require therapists to maintain confidentiality except for the following situations:

 

* Suspected past or present abuse or neglect of children, adults, and elders to the authorities, including Child Protection and law enforcement, based on information provided by the client or collateral sources.

* If I have reason to suspect the client is seriously in danger of harming him/herself or has threatened to harm another person.